i'm glad that i can come back around a month later and still say good things. i think i'm finally making some new friends. but it's really scary. the intimacy. but i love it. like i feel good. i dont feel unbareably lonely. i just hope i dont fuck it up and do something weird agghh. my intrusive thoughts are killing me. but it's less agonizing to try and hold a conversation with people. just nerve wracking. i feel like im getting better at responding to shit! lifes pretty okay right now. even after a Certain Event That Occured On November 5th. i just feel inspired. i guess im still slow. i do want to get back into web dev,, and make this site cooler maybe even rework the entire concept behind it yknow? idk what that'll be but i could just jot down ideas and see what sticks.

college is kicking my ass. would you believe me if i said i was supposed to go to univerisity? yeah well i couldnt afford that shit lol. and to be honest, good riddance. i wouldve lost the scholarship they gave me in like an instant! but im pushing. i really am. i m sorta locked in as they kids say it these days.

sorry for keeping you all waiting. i will return and be more active here someday. just not right now.