hi, its beena while. i have a lot on my mind cuz of course i do. first and formost im revamping this website again. starting with the page i use the most. im in the process of finally getting my drivers liscense, and nearing my graduation. im a lot less stressed, but i most likely wont be like this for long. for starters ive just been angry and irritated for several days now. everything and everyone bothers me. i just keep getting angrier and angrier the more i think about people and my interactions with them, how they treat others, how they treat me. my instrusive thoughts, or i guess general impulsive, shitty thoughts i cant stop thinking about hurting/killing and giving the people in question a piece of my mind.

sounds fucked. but whatever. i dont care about the hidden morality of my passing thoughts anymore. at least i dont want to.

last friday i did a presentation on mental health awareness. it was a group project cause of course it has to be one. i worked really hard on it while my partner barely touched the powerpoint i made. i just didnt want the project to be basic as shit like i just didnt care. i also admitted to certain things. like ofc my own mental health, more specifically my undiagnosed adhd. to which of course i lied and said that i was diagnosed, because its not like they are entitled to know the already convoluted and awful diagnoses process. im clearly not ""mentally well"", and the more i think about it, i dont see the use of having a disorder or illness be on my government record if i'll still be treated like shit regardless.

but uh before i go on a tangent about that, im going to keep trying to update this site and do more awesome things. i also archived my old entries! i'll probably keep them here somewhere on this site for you to read still, just not now.

im tired and its 11pm rn.