about me!

hi there, *waves* , you can call me ''stinky'' here. im the webmaster of this site. you probably expect this page to be the typical obligatory biography you see anywhere online. where you get a ton of insight regarding the creator and their website, blog, social media profile (or anything really) but this is honestly kinda an anti-about me page more than anything.

hmm kay. its pretty safe to say that i struggle a lot with my own identity, especially as of recent. i can sorta sense who i am, but not really? all my life i kinda felt like an extension of others wants and needs rather than my own, and behaving and liking things in order to please others and avoid being ridiculed by them. but with covid hitting, and losing a significant amount of friends i feel more lost than ever.

i dont know who i am. who i want to be. if i like things or hate things sincerely. its all so muddy. i've always been so fascinated by the idea of website creation. an extension of you and what you like? cool, but what is that for me? what would that represent?

this isn't the first time i've made a website, by the way. believe me when i say tried but i've always ended up struggling and getting fustrated, because it never felt truly me and even i have no idea what that's supposed to be.

people tell me that i'm this, and that i'm that, but it's only really their preception of me. is any of it truly me, or another facade i did subconsciously? i don't know

so consider this site... symbolic. as time goes on, hopefully, this site will further reflect my true indentity. right now, i feel like a blank slate. so my site reflects this.

i've been finding it more and more difficult to engage and be open with others these few years. either from people lacking interest in any of the stuff i say or me being too scared of intimacy or whatever. i hope i can find a way to be open, personal, and an individual with this site.

but only time will tell.